Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
the JIM ACE affair CHECKITOUT!!!!!
Jim Ace looked like guy looks, average. Normal, dude.
I looked at him so, yeah, and I know what an average kind of guy looks like because I am a National Boundary Inspector. NBI's see all types cuz all types have to pass through the lines to live. What I mean is- sorry I'm not being explicit here.
Nowadays the only way to make a living is to move along to find work, to travel. Traveling. People travel. Its what free people do. The only folks who don't are the government like me. So I let ace through. Because, in addition to him looking normal, his trailer was clean. He checked out.
So then, you're telling me he was a spy.
He's a spy. Jesus Christ. All I saw was his skin.
Yes. We have to see their skin, what the fuck do you think?
How are we supposed to know who is government and who is not? Travelers' skin is chemically tattooed and ours is genetically tattooed. What is wrong with you? Journalism. These days. Shit.
Ink Journalism with real ink. That's how it used to be. Ink, facts. Yeah, sorry. Yeah I know you are just doing your job. Well. I was doing mine... So all I saw was his skin. And it was clean, like the trailer.
And I took Ace's picture and passed him through the proper scanners and took his tongue out and put it on the belt and it came out clean too.
What? Oh, that means it was COA: a Certified Oldsmith Appendage. I let him through. And then I saw the news. He was dead and had already leaked secrets. Red, red everywhere.
Well, the first thought I had was to tell my daughter to go put all our gold and copper etchings in the silo. Then I called my boss and he had to stay put, but "don't worry everything will be OK." And "don't do anything" meaning don't lock or unlock anything. I ate a milk-goat... Just one. USDA normal, like usual, and said a prayer and stayed put like he said.
The news said Ace was killed by an authorized asthma attack, That was how I knew there was something else going on because, like I said, his skin and trailer were clean. Health too.
The diagnostic machines are calibrated every day. I know cuz I have to use them on my own body to get into the facility, I see to it myself see?
The secrets are either Government or NGE. If they are NGE then its got to be an enemy of Oldsmith. If it is Government it has to be an enemy of Government. Can't be anything else.
Non-governmental Entities don't play games, they play money. Like, for example it could be something about Oldsmith's boundary rights fuck I don't know.
What? Cant be culture-poison. Culture-poison, that's just fucking absurd. Its not from anyone important celebrity-wise. I mean. The secrets are not definitely not art-terrorism because the ARTists like to make themselves known asap. And like, everyone moving all the time you know? Its not where you're from its where you're at. And there is no 'at' anymore! So it cant be style wars. It can't be traditional nationalism.
I'm from here. Government people- me and my wife and daughter. CanadAE. That's what we believe in so... no one is interested in being 'free to stay' anymore, the ad campaigns for Old "house and home" freedom (the freedom to stay within one boundary) don't work that way on us. We know who we are and we are Government. We stay because we always stayed and those who have to move move because it is our job to keep them moving....
Ace... Ace had his documentation registered in 2111, a year ago. So I didn't have to parse it for Non-g continuity or grammar.
It said he was a clown for Michelin, looked good to me and my boss. Why don't I think this is a tire issue? Rubber-trade secrets or something?
Cuz we know that his skin was institutionally grown. With powder by Academic Agencies and that means: my job is fucked.
My daughter will be apprehended and I will be neuralized.
We are skin checkers. That is what we are. Our union is a union of skin checkers. And it is bloody, bloody fortified.
Our history goes back to the days of stem-cell grants. NIH made us happen and NLRB had our back. But of course now there is no NIH. Academic Agencies have been independent NGE's for years now. Which means they do RFP-RFQ's... they contract their work out to whoever the fuck...
And if they can grow a sector's epidermal mass, whether NGE or Government, and make it look like either... then the Oldsmith machines have to be overhauled, and us NBI's have to be neuralized.
But you give me assurences. Nuralizers give pre-therapy I know what's coming.
This aint that? So what is it? Do you have a daughter? Ok then what do you have?
---
Our discussion ended there. Mr. Sherman wanted to be sure I would use his name in this article so I cannot disclose whether he has been neuralized or not.
[ touch here to FADE INTO WATER *only limited moneyed can touch* &privacy&policy 
FADE INTO WATER touch here]
Oldsmith industries chairman [NAME NOT GATHERED] has released a series of images which are touchable for 30 limited moneys but were not decrypted prior to their release so they will have to be factored into this article.
<------------------- To Factor Oldsmith Images TOUCH HERE
TOUCH HERE to know the truth without borrowing anything-------->
| *credit is not available for account-holding GAMERS * If using a mobile device TOUCH HERE for a fixed port rate*
&privacy&policy J Oldsmith industries limited chairman [NAME NOT GATHERED] Factored into the article: “We are glad today. We are issuing 10,000 Diamond Class Supplimental-Group-Theory Shares [AKA “known-shares’] to anyone who has information concerning ACE’s purpose and international backers. We are interested in swallowing them whole and I can assure you we will swallow them whole! That information is very valuable to us and we are offering to let any gatherers opt out of our Info-rights in its creation. The shares are our gift to you but you will also be made an honorary member of our Non Terror Class! Thankyou! Because we know this is a global security issue and it effects babies. Even the babies of any of you out there who are having them unauthorized. It will effect your children’s rights and duties and we love each and every one of you. Oldsmith has been in the business of loving each and every one of your babies for centuries now. Thankyou!” [touch here to FADE INTO GLASS touch here] [TOUCH HERE TO learn more about Oldsmith Chairman {name not gathered}’s parents, including their favorite meal course TOUCH HERE] [touch here to FILE YOUR TAXES and remember you can also touch ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF THE SCREEN to contact the police THIN AIR IS FINE!] | [TOUCH here to know the truth without borrowing anything and how you can REFORM JOURNALIZM subscribe for free emails courtesy of our friends at DOWN-LOG] Oldsmith industries limited chairman [NAME NOT GATHERED] NOT Factored into the article: “Ace is a mole for a Negative Equity holding firm which we are investigating in partnership with the department of justice but whose notational origins are not currently known. “The disclosure of information through CanadAE borders has released uncertainty into the markets and, while we will be debiting a $300,000 uncertainty fee from the treasury, which you will see on our itemized SUNSHINE tax releif settlement statement, we are certain that it will not have any effect on our stock price so no government job names or ranks will be cancelled or reissued at this time - outside of the unfortunate circumstances which have transpired, our friends at the the National Border Inspections agency chairman [NAME NOT GATHERED]’s face shining with tears will remain in place but will have to moratorium-defunded for the time being. We are always learning, and we are always giving, so we must make our choices right. Thankyou very much” A separate email was sent and authorized by Oldsmith Spokesemail [THANKYOU for automatic factoring TOUCH HERE to find out more about automatic factoring ] which states “Oldsmith has been working closely with The TFBS, treaty framework for border security to make sure that our machine and personell standards reflect this unfortunate incident. Thankyou to our brave men and women and babies in the Government for your faithful service. Remember. You make the clock tick and we are greasing the great clock, but time is ours together. [touch here to FILE YOUR TAXES and remember you can also touch ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF THE SCREEN to contact the police THIN AIR IS FINE!] |
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Joshua Sigman I want to do a whole fanfic empire for trisha tanaka from Lost
Joshua Sigman her nerdily improbable rise to becoming homecoming queen her haste to wed early after an unplanned pregnancythe postbachalaureate years, but she couldnt handle the organic chemestrythen a summer prepping for the lsat
Joshua Sigman - when she saw on tv a weathergirl she used to know in middleschoolshe, the weathergirl used to be miss california.Tricia realizes she wants to be a glamorous broadcaster who has strong convictions.
Joshua Sigman She works her way up and finaly begins shooting storys in long beach about surfers who almost get bitten by sharks.then the '94 earthquakes happen...
Joshua Sigman a star is born. untill she finally meets, and acts all bitchy to Hugo that fateful day... the night before she had noticed the meteor shower in the sky.....
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The 2nd Thursday in june is Miracle day.
Today its raining Truncleopods and the windshield wipers on my car were magically replaced.
We usually wait around for every fifth or so year because, something to do with the planets alignment or something, but usually every fifth Miracle day is really really amazing.
Like, for the last one, June 8th 2006? World peace all day. I swear to god. They called it WPday for short. Because W-PAD day didn’t sound good. That, the peace thing, and there were also the myriads beyond myriads of magical beasts swarming the globe.
For one day,
- in the oceans, Eel Ghosts, Porpucuspules, Glow-Era Wales, Electric Crust-Aces, and all manner of magical schools swimming beneath the green tides; Farwhals, Nearwhals and Norwhals, Glacier wurms, SeaRay’s and of course the great Stingy Sponge
-in the skies, Firebirds, Air and Waterbirds, No-eye birds and All-eye birds, Bloody Venemous Clown Bats (OMG really? Yeah!!!! We fucking stayed in doors!) Jelly Angels, Great diamond-clawed Vampreys ( who are actually Vampire Lamprey’s, but we were so scared of the clown bats, we really didn’t give a fuck….) and so many other types of flying and flapping swoopers;
And
-on land, the formfitting fauna, such as the Equihorsey guys, the Pink Flamingos and Scorpy Riders (Scorpions who ride other scorpions through the desert). Giant Minks, who are so old and wise, you wish you could bother them for a riddle or something but, they just sigh and go about their miracle day….[1]
Man what I would give to have just 20 minutes listening to a Giant Mink deeply breathe and sigh…., on land…. Right
There were lot of also formless fauna, like that shit, that goops up all together and smushes itself around but then can shapeshift into anything, we called it ReallyPuddy, or, the BlinkCritters (who are gone when you blink, and then flicker back into existence one last time after you think your alone, so you once again know that you are just perhaps, a little too giddy on Miracle day) the Great Ancient Stone Ghosts and the Flickering Uglies everywhere…
Oh man that day was fucking incredible. We knew, because of the Karas Pact (C. Manga or something look it up….) that none of us would be harmed, that we were safe and sound in our one same verse…. But, I swear, that was probably the only miracle day I have been alive for that I always look back on as the best. ….
But on days like today, I still feel like miracle day is something for kids, like the rest of these holidays. The magic, the activities always unbeknownst and unplanned but simply,
Revealed…
Still is very strong for me, but its not so overwhelming anymore. When I was little I would see my dad do shit like I have to do now, like scrape ice off my car and I would say, “Dad, Dad why are you frowning?” and he would say he wasn’t and I would go ahead and ask, why he didn’t have a smile, strait on beaming like I did. And he would just shrug. Because he didn’t have a frown or a smile, just a face for scraping ice from your windshield while your kid is sitting in the car enveloped in awe and curiosity…
So, I guess, coming to realize then, that there are so many mundane things, that we still have to deal with on Miracle Day, that I wouldn’t really care if they just got rid of the whole thing all together.
Today anyway 1, 15, 1010 seems preety cool… oh shit… wait…
It’s the Third Thirsday!
Wait? What the fuck is happening? Why are there Miracles happening on Days other than Miracle Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????
Hey?! Wait that’s right! Last Thursday My house burned down while still standing (stayed fine the whole time, its hard to explain…) while I was at work and my kids told me that they stayed in side to watch it happen with the kittie… !
Meybe…. Maybe….meybe its, just, another new type of holiday? Which focuses on more, miracles? ?How come this wasn’t on the news today?
Speaking off stage
-hey honey? Did you see anything on cspan today about extra miracles?
-what?
-Extra Miracles… like, you realize that shit is going on out here and its not Miracle day anymore
-Oh, Ok. So whats the question?
-Sorry. Never mind….
Um. Oh. Kay…. Well…. I will go wipe some truncleopods off my car and see whatelse there is to see I guess…..
Uh…. Want a Krispy Kreme? I have a few extra?
He opens the box, and picks one up, and offers it to the audience…. A glowing pink Truncleopod crawls out and he doesn’t bat an eye
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
seriously wrote this when I was 14.... you can tell I was a virgin and read alot of books and liked spooky shit..... not.... that..... different?
"I am reminded now of an evening in my youth...
I was on a quandary run forth to the tabernacle when the figure appeared in my field of blatant vision. I should say on first impression I regarded this creature as one of very mild intelligence, unworthy, nay, undesigned to accept the higher laws
and axioms. But as I approached northward and it southward my instinct changed. I was now fully aware that this cloaked figure was something of a much more complex and intriguing item.
Its gait was awkward but made graceful by the slithering cloak floating amidst its power over the street and setting around it. Height about seven or so feet, but it may have been changing in shape and size throughout our encounter. At closer look
at its face seemed to brake any former mold I had set in my mind of what faces should look like...as distant memories faded into cloudy surreal documents.
Its eyes though both distinct from each other saw directly through me and what ever aura that I may have had about me at the time. The first was covered, or replaced by ancient glass covered with scratches that revealed patterns or maybe even lan
guages beneath its glare. The second shone as bright as the origins of flame. The rest of the profile was half kept in shadows, half formed as a pale an unmistakable nightmare expression.
This I interpreted as a death threat and fled immedeatly...
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