Open letter to Prunicorns,

Open letter to Prunicorns,

Dear prunicorns. When I first learned of your existence I was floored. The fact that there can be unicorns that are prunes, reaches a level of incredulity that far surpasess the fact that there can be unicorns in the first place. Then, I saw your leader Charm Charm on the MTV VMA's doing the nasty-wasty in a not so appropriate way, in fact she was doing it in a notsopropriate way. It was too much. Don't yall know how important it is to maintain a level of high falootin ness in this media cycle? do you want to encourage all of the _icorns of all varieties to behave boguswise? I mean Come on! There are two kind of prunicorns in this world. Nonexistant ones and fresh out the prune jar ones, which are real. It behooves me to think of what it must involve for you to make pools of juice all pruny when you stomp in it.

We are not alone

One day:

SETI will call Nasa who will call the department of defense who will call the president.

At 15:14 hours a signal was received, coming from somewhere in the small Magellenic Cloud system. It had repeating phrases of noise bursts but no apparent larger pattern. It was soon found that the inner "smaller" sinusoidal phrases could be restructured as decimals of Pi but no clearer message could be found in the bursts.

Purplexed the White House dispersed requests for proposals for any consultants or independent contractors who could decipher this message.

The world's decryption specialists, security experts, mathematicians and information theorists using the newest and most powerful computers set to work, but after two weeks there no coherent results could be found.

Then on the 14th day after receipt of the message, a scholar, one Timothy Conasthé working in Medieval astronomy department of University of California (which it should be noted recently and somewhat mysteriously received numerous grants from Lockheed-Martin) emailed an urgent memo to the DOD explaining that in one of the once lost and mostly discredited manuscripts of the Persian astronomer Abd al-Rahman al Sufi, it was prophesied, -or to be more exact derived from recently discovered  algorithms used to calculate trajectories of the stars- that a 'glowing being bearing idols and machinations of light and sound' would one day return to this sphere from eons of exploration and come to reclaim its apparent "Throne of the world." and rule us for the following 5 eons. The "Throne of the World" when translated from:  عرعرش العالم was previously dismissed as meaning "a chair hung in the lower canopy of the sky" and therefore metaphysical nonsense, but this scholar. In addition Abd Al-Rahman provided a name: بجعة الملكة meaning queen of the swans or "Swan Queen." According to the mysterious algorithmic results: This "Swan Queen" was supposed to come to earth from somewhere in the Magellenic cloud system sometime in the early 21st century.

Most of the administration in the white house scoffed at all this. And for that matter a large section of astronomers, astrophysicists and meteorologists, stated that using proper deductive reasoning from science. This is black and white. Occams razor and logic. Get your head out of your ass seti.  This is nothing! Just more noise from space, like you've been receiving since you started!

then. On the 59th day after receiving this message.

An intern at SETI was fucking around in his downtime. Using some open source video-decription software fed a series of 44.1kHz of dividual points taken from the sound samples of the message, and then processed into individual bmp files then again edited together at the timeline of the corresponding original sound file. He pressed render and waited. After coming back to his desk with a fresh black coffee and a danish...

The video flickered into focus after 3.14 seconds of technicoloric static bursts on his screen. ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pco91kroVgQ